Love Drug

Scientists are trying to develop a drug that causes people to fall in love. They claim that the oxytocin hormone contributes to sexual attraction and promotes trust and confidence and reduces fear. Is your relationship missing that magic spark? Just pop the red pill. Want to make your secret crush fall in love with you? Just slip the love drug into their beverage of choice, and you'll hardly be able to keep them away. It's that easy. Let's face it, falling in love is hard to come by. And trying to win someone over through thoughtfulness and charm is just too much work. The best part is that you'll no longer have to wait for Mr. or Miss Right, with the love drug anyone could be the one. Who cares if they look like Jabba the Hut or Cousin It, you won't know the difference. You'll be head-over-heels in love. And when your love prescription runs out then just make an appointment with your local love doctor.

Why stop there? Maybe, the love drug is the way to world peace, the remedy for racism and terrorism and wars and gangs and lawsuits and sports. We'll all be lovers, not fighters. The world will be one big, long Woodstock, with lots of people rolling around in the mud and putting flowers in their hair. We could also use it to cause people to fall in love with God. We could spike the communion juice with it, although people might start kissing in church and that would be terrible. Kissing is so unspiritual.

Yes, the love drug is the solution we've been praying for. After all, God is love, why would He object? The first and second commandment are all about love. The Bible practically encourages us to take the love drug. We wouldn't be like robots, robots don't love. And why stop at the love drug? What about a faith drug? A drug that rids us of all that nasty logic and common sense. Is the law of gravity weighing you down? Well, that's nothing that a faith pill can't fix. You'll be flying around in no time. The possibilities are endless! Forgiveness medicine, discipline drugs, humility pills, courage elixirs. . .oh wait, that's alcohol.

Who knew that love could be so easy and convenient and bite-sized? Got love?


Warning: If you've taken any of this seriously, then consult your physician right away.