Saturday, January 1, 2011

An Apology To Married Folk

1st Ammendment or not, I would like to apologize to my married readers for my post entitled "What Is The Point of Marriage?" But I'm not exactly sorry for writing it. I was simply posing some questions and processing out loud, which was the point for me starting this whole blog in the first place. I think it's a shame when people can't openly discuss otherwise taboo questions. Asking questions is the only way to learn. And I like to learn. But here's where the apology comes in. I'm sorry that I didn't complete my thought and I left some married people with the wrong impression. The challenge for writers is to get their tone right, and apparently I didn't. I came across as blithely disrespectful to people who have worked hard at their marriage and have stayed together for a long time. That definitely wasn't my intent. It seems that miscommunication is not always in the words you say but in what you leave out. I was simply trying to probe deeper into the meaning of marriage and what it means to have a good marriage. I was kind of poking fun at some of the platitudes, but I think some people took it personally. And rightly so, because marriage is a rather personal thing. Not to mention the fact that all of this is coming from someone who is single and has zero experience being married. Which is why I write as an inquisitive student, not as a teacher.

Anyway, I would like to honor my parents who have been married for 32 years. I was there for most of their marriage because I was the firstborn. I witnessed the whole 'happily ever after' firsthand. It wasn't perfect, but it was real and alive. When I look at their marriage now, I see lustrous gold that has been refined in life's fire. I think their marriage is better than it's ever been, filled with a tempered peace and joy that had to be fought for. God's fingerprints are all over it. I know that many married couples stay together for the kids and I am so grateful that my parents loved us enough to keep us all under one roof. I truly believe that they have a successful marriage, a marriage that is about staying together but also so much more than that. It's about love.