Honest Love

I remember hearing the story "The Emperor's New Clothes" as a child and thinking it was a great story, but didn't realize that it was really a parable. I also didn't realize that I was the child in the story. If you remember, it's about two weavers who make an invisible garment for the emperor. The weavers claim that the fine garment can only be seen by those who are competent for their roles in society. Naturally, everyone agrees that they can see the clothes except for a little boy who yells "The emperor isn't wearing anything at all!"

Honesty has become a foreign language. It is rarely understood and is unkosher in an esoteric society preserved by euphemism and constant ceremony. We have an understanding, there are certain things you don't talk about. Everything has its place. You don't talk about disease and famine at the dinner table. You don't mention the afterlife in science class. You don't tell your boss that he takes his job too seriously. You don't cheer for the Ducks in a room full of Beavers. At a wedding, you don't say the word "divorce." At funerals, we hardly admit that we are all the person in the casket. At church, we don't sing songs about all the people who are going to hell. And on and on it goes. But honesty doesn't pander to formality or pretense or flattery or comfort. For that reason, most people don't like it. It doesn't get you popularity. It's like an alarm clock that is easier to unplug rather than wake up to reality. Most people are careful to say what they are supposed to say. They follow a script. The older generation is preoccupied with being respected and the younger generation is preoccupied with being cool. But honesty cares for neither. It comes streaking through the room, raising eyebrows. Whenever honesty happens, most people don't know what to say, it's very vulnerable and awkward and disagreeable. In an insane world, sanity is the laughing stock.

The Bible tells us to speak the truth in love. Love is not always nice, it doesn't always smile. Honesty is the vehicle for truth, and the truth is usually cutting. I'm not talking about the kind of honesty that tells someone that they are ugly. I'm talking about the kind of honesty that tells people what they need to hear so that they can really live and thrive. For instance, if a friend is ruining themselves with drugs then love confronts them, it doesn't support the addiction. That's not being legalistic, that's love. There is nothing loving about supporting sin that kills, real love intervenes.

Jesus is the most honest person I've ever read about. We often quote Him with a soft, sweet tone, but most of His statements were very abrasive and uncouth at the time. Things like "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven." Nobody knew how to respond, because Jesus didn't follow protocol. He wasn't bureaucratic, He didn't play games. He just said what wasn't being said, but that needed to be said. Most people didn't get it, most people still don't get it. People usually believe what they want to believe. What's more, everyone is elitist, we all think we're right. And we surround ourselves with people who convince us that we are right. We follow leaders who are a projection of our own ideology. But in order to make room for truth within ourselves, we must somehow identify and weed out the lies. The problem is that lies are very good at masquerading as the truth. Our only hope is honesty, because if truth does exist then it won't get anywhere without daring voices and a willingness to listen. And yet, in the interest of truth, you can't be your own reference point, you can't learn from yourself . That's like feeding on yourself and hoping to be healthy. To be truly enlightened, we need an outer intolerant light to break into our self-sustained paradigms and lead us somewhere new.

On a different note, it is good to be honest and confess our unsightly struggles to others if only to remind each other that we are not alone in our monstrosity. There have been countless times when I thought I was the only one wrestling with a certain question or sin, but once I shared it, I found out that there were many others with a similar issue. What would happen if we all showed our cards and stopped bluffing? Among other things, love is honest.