Tuesday, September 20, 2011

All The Single Ladies

I am constantly amazed that so many quality girls end up with not-so-quality guys. With frogs actually. Did they meet in the dark? Did they lose a bet? Maybe they thought that the frog would transform with enough tender loving care. And yet each day they hear the same ol' words-- ribbit ribbit. Why are their standards so low? Perhaps they've never had a man in their life who showed them a better way. Who showed them what it feels like to be treated like a lady. Girls who have higher standards usually had good dads. Dads who cherished them in a way that would ruin most girls' tolerance for amphibians. Some girls seem to gravitate toward the bad boys. The sad thing is that they get exactly that, and they are treated badly. What did they expect? I wonder how many gentlemen they passed up because they didn't know what a gentleman was.

It's interesting that the way a worldly guy picks up on worldly girls is by devaluing them. Instead of honoring the girl and rising to her level and reinforcing her dignity, a "player" will bring her down to his level by treating her like a cheap object and not as a prized princess. If he treats her like a princess then she is less likely to sleep with him, because he would only be reinforcing her precious worth. And her self-worth is what will prevent her from giving herself to the man in a cheap way. On the other hand, a real Christian guy will treat a woman as a daughter of God. And if there is any Father to fear then it is surely God. A godly man will treat her as if he is her older brother, zealously protecting her purity from the mangy wolves. His goal is not to get her to sleep with him, but to honor her in such a way that her high standards are maintained until her wedding day. Ladies, both kinds of men are out there. If a guy doesn't treat you like a princess then he is not a prince. Choose wisely.

So what is the true test for whether a man is indeed a man? Well, is he like Jesus? Pontius Pilate was right when he pointed to a bloodied Jesus and said "Behold, the Man!" You see, a real man lays down his life for the one he loves, because the one he loves is his life. Fortunately for us, Jesus didn't just send us flowers or chocolates or write us a poem or take us salsa dancing. But He actually volunteered to be our blood donor, when we were lying on our death bed. That is real sacrifice and that is real love.

In some of my conversations with top-notch Christ-like guys, they've talked about some of the fickle, non-commital, ambivalence that they've been experiencing with Christian girls that they are interested in. It only confirmed my suspicions. I used to think that there were so many quality girls who were still single because the guys weren't making an effort. But many guys are taking the initiative and yet they are getting stone-walled. And I'm not talking about losers, I'm talking about really great guys. But I'll be fair, both sides are responsible. Now, if people want to be single for the rest of their life then that's fine. There is nothing ungodly or unbiblical about that. But just don't blame anyone else for your singleness if you are passing up gems.

I'm not sure what the answer is to this stalemate, feelings are difficult to sort into black and white conclusions. These days, you can pick petals off of the proverbial flower and recite "She loves me. . .she loves me not" all day long, but in reality it's no longer that simple. Now you have to add "she's not sure if she loves me. . .she's not ready for a relationship. . .she doesn't know what God's will is. . .she loves me but not like that. . .it's complicated" and on and on it goes. There aren't enough petals in the world.


  1. I liked the way that you compare the not-so-quality guys with frogs. The biggest problem is you expect it to become a prince. What a mistake! It is best to wait on God because He has truly the best for all of us.
    The real love is self giving and should not be expected in return.Jesus gave His life for us, if you stop and wonder who else would do it, you can count on the fingers of your hand! To love mean to give, doens't matter what ... May Be attention, blood, or even money!
    About taking initiative, i still think that the guys think too much. Of course, they should pray, but Sometimes God gives them a good girl, but ... They are just thinking, too much scare.
    In fact, it is hard to imagine, she(he)loves me? Does not she(he)? Or any question that's come to our mind.
    Once i heard a phrase from a friend when i tried to guess somebody's mind and he told me, the soothsayers will not inherit the kingdom of God! He said jokingly, of course, but i didn´t forget it, and i always remember it when i try to guess what people are feeling or thinking ... just let in the Lord's hands, because he probes the hearts and works for those who wait in Him.

  2. Someone facebooked this and I read it, and wow! Interesting, glad to hear a guy's perspective. Can't say I agree with all of it, but it is interesting nonetheless, and I do agree that you can tell a man is a man if he acts like Christ! Thank you! :)