Maybe I'll Elope

The other day, I ran into a girl that I knew from Portland. She wore gray sweatpants and a gray sweater that was about 3 sizes too big. She waved to a guy walking across the street and said that he was her new husband and that they are now living in Corvallis. It surprised me, because I recalled seeing her last New Year's Eve and she wasn't even dating anyone at the time. What happened? She explained that an old flame had rekindled and that her and her man decided to elope. Elope? You're probably thinking Oh, they're probably not Christians. Nope, they are Christians. Or you're thinking It was probably the guy's idea. Wrong again, it was her idea. They wanted to save money and not go through the gauntlet of organizing a traditional wedding. It made perfect sense to me.

I just sang at a wedding last weekend. From my piano bench, I watched the whole pricey shebang unfold. The parade of the confused little ringbearer and the doe-eyed flower girl, the entrance of the stalwart wedding party, the groom beholding the dawning of bridezilla, the music, the wedding vows, the exchange of rings, the pronouncement, the kiss, the send-off, more music. The only thing that didn't go according to plan was that one of the bride's maids fainted because she locked her knees, but indeed the show must go on. The whole time, I was thinking Where did all of these crazy traditions come from? Not from the Bible. It's funny how we make up rituals and then act like they are ordained by God. I once read that the act of tying cans onto the back of the wedding getaway car is in order to scare away evil spirits. But how bad could a spirit be if it's intimidated by some tin cans?

I've also noticed that we have traditions when it comes to dating. We approach relationships as if there is some kind of protocol, as if we are coloring by numbers or putting it through an assembly line, and yet every love story is completely different. There's no formula. The third verse is not the same as the first, you have to learn to freestyle. You learn to sail with the changing winds of the Holy Spirit. You discover what makes someone feel loved, and in that, you discover love for yourself. In fact, you can't discover true love without making someone else feel loved. Marriage doesn't have to look the same for everybody. The Bible gives us very loose guidelines. We are told to love each other for life and to not sleep with other people and that's about it. I know one Christian married couple who are in a rock band together. Anyway, I don't like tradition. I don't like forcing things, and I don't like things to be forced on me. I want organic love. We are often so concerned about what other people think. Hype and pageantry is for impressing people, but I think that God gets bored and changes the channel. No one likes watching reruns.

I'm always skeptical of couples that broadcast and showboat their love. It's always a sign of insecurity when people are trying to prove something to others. I always wonder what their relationship looks like behind the scenes. I admire the couples who exude a love of quiet confidence. It's the same thing with Christians. Some Christians are too concerned with loudly convincing others of their love for God. You wonder if their public enthusiasm carries over into their private prayers.

I don't want love that needs embellishment. I'm tired of going after that sparkling mirage and still going thirsty. In the end, I just want to deeply know someone and to feel like they know me. Maybe, love is not about what it looks like on the outside. Maybe, my love story will never become a star-studded Oscar-winning film, and yet under the surface, God will tend to roots that are deeper and stronger than most loves. And with his green-thumb, He will bring about fruit that is sweet and satisfying. The buzz comes and goes, but true love takes time, it ages like a fine wine.